Walk by Faith

Since my scan on the 10th, my mind has been spinning.  I was so relieved to receive news that didn't lead to another surgery!  Since I do have some remaining tumor in my sinus cavity, it doesn't mean another surgery is not in my future, but at least until my next scan, May 20th, I can relax a bit.  Thus the trip to Boca, which was wonderful, I might add!
Anyway, One of the things that I have been doing since my last scan, aside from the few trips I have taken, is to really begin listening for what God has planned for me.  Maybe I will hear Him speak to me through a homily, or a friend, maybe a random stranger that I meet or maybe in a song. So, I was listening to a song the other day by Jeremy Camp called Walk by Faith.  Jeremy lost his wife four months after they were married to cancer.  He said that he just wanted God to tell him why.  He realized that in order to "walk by faith and not by sight" the question of "why" can't be answered.  If it was answered, then it isn't really having faith, is it?  That is the kind of faith that I want.  I don't know why my head has become the beloved home of meningioma tumors.  I don't know why mine were benign and some people aren't as fortunate.  But, I guess to be His follower, to be a true believer, I don't need to know why.  I just have to believe that my God has a reason and that He will reveal that reason to me on His time, not mine.  That is faith.
Even since this journey began on August 2nd, when the first tumor was found, I did ask why this happened, but I never doubted that there was a reason behind all of this.  I know my God well enough to know that whatever the outcome was, He had a mighty plan.  As I sit here today, I am just not sure what His plan is.  I feel like He has something big in store for me.  I feel like He will use me to make a difference somehow.  I want to take this experience and use to to inspire others or help others in their time of need.  I am ready to finally make sense out of all of this and have His plan revealed.
 
So I, like Samuel, am waiting.......waiting as His servant, ready and willing to do as He pleases.  My life is Yours, Lord.  Speak now, for Your servant is listening.