Word I hate........anything ending in "gioma!"

I have been back to work this week and to be honest, it has been a great distraction.  My students have been so great.  They are praying for me everyday and I can tell that they are worried about their teacher.  That means so much to me.  Today, I got a phone call and I realized that I hadn't turned off my ringer.  As I was letting it ring and apologizing to my students, someone said, "You need to answer it.  It might be the doctor!"  Gotta love my kiddos!

As I checked my messages at the end of the day, the call was actually from Doug who had just spoken to my doctor, Dr. Happ.  Dr. Happ and neurosurgeon Dr. Aziz, have been consulting on my case.  They now feel  it could be a benign tumor called a hemangioma.  These tumors are rare when internal, but can occur after surgery and/or radiation.  (mostly they are found on the surface of the skin) They explained it to us as if it were a balloon filled with blood, but solid, not liquid.  They want to wait a few more weeks before getting another MRI and then they will compare this scan with my scan before Thanksgiving.  If there has been any change at all, I will have surgery.  The surgery will involve removing a portion of my skull in order to get to the tumor.  It is not categorized as a dangerous surgery, but a disfiguring one.  (somehow they thought that would make me feel better!!)  They want surgery to be a last resort.  If there has not been a change to the tumor, they will not do surgery and we will continue to monitor my symptoms and continue with frequent scans.

So, how do I feel after all of this???  I can't believe that not only did I have ONE tumor, but now I actually might have TWO tumors!!!  When I type this, I can't believe it is ME that I am talking about.  I have my weak moments and let me tell you......I cry.  But I also have my strong moments when I remember that I am a child of God and he knew me before I was even formed in my mother's womb.  I know He will take care of me.  He is my rock......my strength and I know He will be my salvation in all of this.

So, I will pray....and I will be like Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.  I will be on my knees and I will say, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."

"He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defense; I shall not be moved . In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength,refuge, is in God. and my refuge, is in God." 

Psalm 62:6-7